Grab the lifejackets and the suntan oil
To the Editor:
This just in! President Trump is recommending everyone in WNC be moved out to somewhere else (maybe Gaza?) until the white horses can come to our rescue and fix this place.
He assumes we all want out of here after the floods destroyed almost everything. Why would anyone really want to stay here? All of us originally came from somewhere else, anyway, so we can go back there, now. This decision comes after intense negotiations that lasted almost an hour with the governor of Tennessee. Not sure why Trump was in talks with someone who doesn’t live here, but hey, I’m not questioning him right now. He’s obviously on a roll like Bluto Blutarsky was in “Animal House” who asked “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” No! Let’s grab our old kit bags and move on!
Tentative plans are to flood the entire area from Blowing Rock down to Highlands. It’ll be easy, since the area is prone to flooding, anyway. He just has to turn on the water up north and let it flow south like in California. The higher elevations will make beautiful islands for tourist junkets and the land around this new giant lake (Lake Trump, of course) will be ripe for development with resort hotels and casinos. Can’t wait to get in on the ground floor! (Well, maybe not the ground floor.)
Glenn Duerr
Waynesville
