October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), a time to raise our collective consciousness about family violence in our community and to highlight the critical support systems available for survivors locally.  

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month in the United States.

This week, the Smoky Mountain News has partnered with REACH of Haywood County to publish a series of stories outlining the ways domestic violence perpetrators can victimize those they should love and what resources are available for anyone in need.  

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month — a time to honor survivors, remember those lost to violence and recommit to building a community where everyone feels safe and valued. For nearly four decades, REACH of Haywood County has been doing exactly that: working quietly but persistently to make Haywood County a safer, stronger place to live. 

Every October, we see purple ribbons, social media posts and brief mentions on the news about Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For many, it comes and goes like any other month. But for survivors, advocates and loved ones, October carries the weight of remembrance, grief and determination. 

More than 180 guests gathered at Chestnut Ridge Wedding Venue in Canton for REACH of Haywood County’s third annual Women of Vision Fashion Show on Sept. 25.  

What began three years ago as a creative fundraiser to uplift women and raise awareness about domestic violence has now become one of the community’s most anticipated events — a day that celebrates resilience, connection and hope. 

Domestic violence is widely misunderstood. Most individuals who have not had the unfortunate experience of living through it often hold misconceptions that minimize its severity. This ignorance can lead to responses that are inappropriate, callous and ultimately perpetuate the problem. Misconceptions frequently involve victim-blaming or a lack of understanding about what domestic violence truly entails. 

For close to four decades, I’ve been an advocate for victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse. It has been quite a journey. 

Along the way, I’ve met so many incredibly strong, wise, brave, and determined women who have faced terrible abuse from the person who, at the beginning of the relationship, claimed to love them. They have learned the hard way that love and abuse do not go together. 

Not all domestic violence victims escape. Some are too ashamed or fearful to leave. Some are bound by cultures or communities that do not fully respect women, where judgment and reputation outweigh survival. The age when victims simply endure is still with us. That was the case of a woman named Martha who died a few years ago in Western North Carolina. 

When Jeff Haynes entered the law enforcement academy in 1990, empathy wasn’t a word heard often in the ranks. Officers were trained to enforce, not to understand. But as the decades unfolded, few people would witness — and shape — the transformation of policing toward compassion and victim-centered practice more closely than Haynes himself. 

Behind closed doors, domestic violence and child abuse often unfold side by side, feeding off the same roots of fear and control. 

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we’re reminded that protecting survivors means protecting families as a whole. When we support survivors of domestic violence, we safeguard the health and stability of entire households.