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First Amendment on display as opposing sides reckon with Pride

Dennis Thurman (left) and Helen Ryde shake hands after a prayer meeting held by the Haywood Baptist Association on June 28. Dennis Thurman (left) and Helen Ryde shake hands after a prayer meeting held by the Haywood Baptist Association on June 28. Cory Vaillancourt photo

For many, a Pride festival is a fairly straightforward event, a celebration of unity among people marginalized for who they are and who they love. But in a purer sense, Haywood County’s historic first Pride festival and a competing prayer meeting held the night before were both compelling exercises of constitutionally protected rights, suggesting maybe — just maybe — that Americans can, in fact, disagree without being disagreeable.

“I am an LGBTQ person,” said Haywood County resident Helen Ryde, addressing attendees of the June 28 prayer meeting. “There’s a scripture that spoke to my heart … I just wanted to share it with you.”

Ryde’s courageous speech came after the 30-minute meeting of about 80 people had concluded on the steps of the Historic Haywood County Courthouse. Ryde was one of only two LGBTQ+ people who chose to attend the meeting but by the time of their speech was the only one left.

The permit for the meeting, requested by the Haywood Baptist Association, was approved by Haywood County government just two days before the meeting, long after widespread publicity about Haywood Pride had made its way through local and regional media outlets. A Facebook post by the Haywood County Republican Party drew a connection between the prayer meeting and the Pride fest, and a further statement by Association member Dennis Thurman outlined his view on how the church should respond.

“Please don't be hateful,” Thurman wrote. “Some try the bullhorn approach, shouting, ‘Turn or burn!’ That is the caricature of many church folks as the world sees us. They want all Baptists identified with the Westboro Baptist cult.”

Despite describing homosexuality with strong disapproval — deviancy and debauchery, Thurman wrote — speakers at the prayer meeting didn’t make threats and indeed listened respectfully to Ryde’s words, just as she had respectfully listened to theirs.

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Ryde recited passages from Acts 10, which many Christians believe establishes that God wants to save not only the Jews, but also the Gentiles.

“I know there are many arguments for how to interpret that scripture,” Ryde said. “I just wanted to offer it to you, with an open heart, to consider that maybe that which you are calling ‘unclean’ God does not call ‘unclean.’”

Thurman shook Ryde’s hand before praying with them, but it’s clear both sides have a long way to go with their fledgling relationship. Roy Kilby, a fixture in Haywood County’s Baptist community, engaged with Ryde once they’d finished speaking, basically telling Ryde they were wrong.

“There are things in my life that I need to repent for,” Ryde said to Kilby. “I don’t believe my orientation is one of them.”

With the prayer meeting complete, attention quickly shifted to the Pride parade and festival that kicked off the next day, on those same courthouse steps.

As Pride organizers and several hundred parade participants congregated on the lawn, waiting for speeches to begin, two members of the faith community stood across the street, right in front of The Waynesville Mountaineer office. They held signs, preached and engaged politely with passersby.

When the speeches began, they too were silent, like Ryde had been the night before.

“Let's not forget this journey has not been easy,” Waynesville Town Council Member Anthony Sutton, the town’s first openly gay elected official, told the assembled crowd. “It's been paved with struggles and sacrifice. But every step we have taken, every battle we have fought, has brought us closer to a world where everyone is free to be who they are without fear of judgment or discrimination.”

Sutton delivered a rousing speech, just before marchers made their way down North Main Street, rounding the corner at Miller Street heading back towards Depot Street. Although it was hard to tell, from the bottom of Frog Level the parade looked like it stretched for miles — a sea of smiling faces with Sutton’s closing words still ringing in people's ears.

“There's still much work to be done. There are still voices that need to be heard, rights that need to be fought for and hearts and minds that need to be opened,” he said. “So let us on this occasion reaffirm our commitment to equality and justice. Let us stand together hand in hand and continue to fight for a world where everyone is treated with dignity and respect. Because at the end of the day, we are all human. We all love. We all have dreams. And we all deserve to live in a world where we are free to be ourselves.”

 

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