Change is inevitable, but growth is a choice
If you were shopping for new pair of pants knowing you were a size six, but chose instead a size two, how do you imagine those pants would feel on your body? Tight right? You would be extremely uncomfortable and might even start criticizing yourself for being “so fat” when the issue is not your body, it is your choice.
The minute you stepped into those babies you knew they were not gonna work. You were frustrated as you pulled them on, contorting your body in hopes of zipping them up. What were you thinking? If you relate this analogy to your everyday life, you can begin to turn any tight, frustrating situation in your favor by choosing to look for your preferences in any situation. It is just a matter of prioritizing your inner cues and allowing them to guide you forward.
I write about choice a good bit because it is at the heart of creating a joyful experience. This is not about pretending you are happy when you are not. The key to change is investigating how each situation you grapple with is serving you. This requires examining the beliefs that got you into your current jam, and determining if you can transform them into new thoughtforms that better support the vision you have for yourself.
Back to the pants. Instead of criticizing yourself for not being size two, you could ask yourself what about your current weight, size, or overall health bothers you? Is there anything you could do differently to feel better? As you start to mull it over you realize that your body has been cueing you to make changes in your diet. As you head out for a conciliatory lunch you see an image in your mind’s eye of mac and cheese. Yummy! Hold up.. no…wait.. you now suddenly recollect that when you eat dairy your nose gets stuffy, you feel a bit sluggish and heavy dairy seems to exit your body rather quickly. Hmmm….
You make the decision to follow that guidance and resist the urge to order that mac and cheese that makes you feel like you are safe and secure with grandma, hoping your body will notice. She does and responds in kind by increasing your energy levels. What next? Your eyes dart over to the window next to your desk at work, and you think how good it would feel to take a walk on such a beautiful fall day. Your intuition is on fire, and you are burning down all the barriers that stand between you and you! Pretty soon, you are packing a workout bag and walking every day during your lunch break. Your hips become slightly more narrow, and your confidence becomes slightly more broad. Now that you are staving off the daily guilt you have carried for eons, you have the space in your life to consider why you have criticized your beautiful hips that birthed babies that are now good people in the world. Why have you been so hard on yourself for not being a size two? Were you ever a size two? From a more loving place you see your body is perfect the way she is, minus the dairy of course.
Let’s take another look back. Why did you decide to buy pants the other day? Your spirit urged you to go even though you did not really need pants. You did however need to understand the effects dairy was having on your body. You did need clarity around loving your body and appreciating all she has given to you over the years. You did need to stop playing the old tapes of former lovers, your mother, and all of your well-intended friends that readily shared their ideas of being in shape that you embraced whole heartedly in order to be loved and accepted by them. You, sister, created the experience of “needing pants” because the time to move into a new reality was beckoning, and you heeded the call.
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This could have gone in a totally different direction, and for many years it has. You made the choice in the past to ignore how you felt after meals, you chose others vision of beauty over your own, and you willingly went into the dark places of your mind feeling inferior to other women. All of those times served to keep you in your current reality until you were standing in front of that mirror that day and noticing how ridiculous the situation was and made the decision to do what was best for you in the moment…honoring yourself.
This is the nature of all of our experiences in the world. Anything we dance with is there to teach and delight us. This is why we choose to incarnate. We want the journey, not just the prize. We want to understand how to surmount obstacles, climb mountains, survive the dark nights of the soul. If we are paying attention we will notice a pattern. The circumstances have rearranged a bit, but the underlying energy is the same. If we can stand back long enough to refrain from judging the situation, we will be able to see the thread that links these years of experiences, and we will have the strength of will tug on it. We cannot prevent challenging situations from darkening our doorstep, but we can use them to our advantage. We use the contrast of what we don’t like to look for what we do and allow synchronicity to pave the way forward.
Yes, life will unravel. But isn’t that the point? Are we tired of doing things the same ole way and hoping this time will different? Each time we make a new choice that aligns with our inner directives, we step into our natural vibration. That beacon of light that is at the very core of our being attracts bigger and better opportunities into our lives. Take a moment to take inventory of where you are in this moment. If it feels familiar, good. If it feels frustrating, even better. Ask yourself, “how is this serving me?” “Can I learn anything from this experience?” Then choose to grow.
