A RAD mother-daughter journey
Wendolyn Forbes is a community member who took the RADS course.
File photo
In the quiet moments of a morning at Panacea Coffee House, a chance conversation with Waynesville Police Chief David Adams sparked an unexpected journey for my daughter and me. He mentioned the upcoming Rape Aggression Defense (RAD) program at the Waynesville Recreation Center, hosted by REACH of Haywood County, our local rape and domestic violence crisis center, and the Waynesville Police Department.
I realized, despite a career focused on risk management and planning, I had never taken a formal self-defense course. I immediately recognized this as a skillset I wanted to cultivate, and I knew I wanted my daughter to develop these skills alongside me.
For any parent, the desire to protect their child is a constant, quiet hum in the background of daily life. However, transitioning from protecting her to empowering her to protect herself is a profound shift. During the course, my daughter shared that she previously felt unsure of how to defend herself. Attending together made the experience a collaborative effort for both of us.
The atmosphere in the class was transformative. One finds a specific kind of strength in a room full of people who share similar concerns and goals. My daughter noted that having a parent by her side made the experience feel more powerful, and seeing others engage with the material reinforced the idea that we are all capable of reclaiming our sense of security.
One of the most significant takeaways from the RAD course was the dismantling of the perfect response myth. We learned that in a moment of crisis, doing something is always better than doing nothing, and self-protection is about options. Understanding that you have options — whether that is a verbal boundary, a tactical retreat or a physical strike — replaces a feeling of helplessness with a feeling of agency.
My daughter was particularly struck by the course’s physical mechanics, specifically noting how certain body parts can be incredibly effective tools for defense. For her, the focus was on risk reduction and gaining the tactical knowledge to navigate the world with a more informed sense of safety.
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The two-day course in September left a lasting impression. We sometimes discuss how to identify risks and the importance of situational awareness. Further, the booklet received at the end of the course provided additional educational information so my daughter and I could talk about the topics and revisit specific moves, strategies and options at any time.
As we recognize Sexual Assault Awareness Month this April, I believe it is important to acknowledge partners like REACH of Haywood County and our local law enforcement who provide these educational resources. Sharing this experience with my daughter did more than teach us about safety options and techniques: it opened a door for us to talk about boundaries, strength, and the fact that our safety is something we have the right and the ability to defend. I now know that I am capable of taking care of myself in a different way than I was before. Moreover, my daughter knows that she is capable, too.
We walked out of those sessions feeling emboldened, knowing we are capable and, most importantly, that we have options.
