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Fun with weird data, poetry, and history

Fun with weird data, poetry, and history

Suppose, like some of us, you find yourself needing a quick word fix. You’ve got the jones for something to read, but you’re so short on time that even a short story seems as problematical an undertaking as “War and Peace.” You want a dash of amusement, a dollop of entertainment, and you want it now. 

Here are four books guaranteed to satisfy that craving.

First up is Gideon Haigh’s “The Uncyclopedia” (Hyperion, 2004, 176 pages). Billed as “Everything You Never Knew What You Wanted to Know,” this collection of information and facts contains such lists as “Turkish Flirtation Phrases,” “Newspaper Slogans,” and “Norse Gods.” 

One of my favorites is “Fifteen Creatures in Space.” The first entry in this category is Yorick, a monkey launched into space by the United States in 1951. “Accompanied by eleven mice, Yorick attained an altitude of 45 miles.” I did have one question: why not twelve mice? Would that additional mouse bring the total to an unlucky 13 in this early company of astronauts?

“The American Patriot’s Almanac” (Thomas Nelson, 2013, 592 pages) offers day-by-day readings on American history and culture. William Bennett and John Cribb clearly intended their book to be read daily, but I’ve never done well with such ephemerides of literature, religion, or any other such manual. After a week or two of dutiful usage, I forget to return to my guide book. In the case of “The American Patriot’s Almanac,” I instead pick up my copy every once in a while, open it at random, and read a few entries.

Today I’m making an exception. It’s December 27 as I write these words, and so I turn to that date in the “Almanac” and read the short history of the North Platte Canteen. In the very first days of our entry into World War II, the citizens of North Platte, Nebraska decided as a community to give gifts, food, and their best wishes to the troops passing through their town aboard trains, all on their way to war. For the next five years, even well after the war had officially ended, families, churches, schools, businesses, and clubs greeted and fed over six million GIs. Their commitment and generosity of spirit make for an amazing story, and Bennett and Cribb have done us all a great service by including this slice of history in their book.

Harold Bloom’s “The Best Poems of the English Language (Harper Perennial, 2007, 972 pages) is another hefty collection of quick entertainments. The prolific Bloom, a professor and one of America’s all-time great critics of literature, stuffed this anthology with the works of poets from Chaucer to Hart Crane, introducing each with brief biographical remarks and some astute comments about their work.

 Some of these verses are pages long, but we needn’t sit down for the entire feast if we’re only in the mood for a snack. In my case, Tennyson’s “Ulysses” provides the perfect example of taking only what is desired from a poem. Tennyson’s reflections on the aged Ulysses and his desire for one last great adventure appeal to an old guy like me, but usually I read only the ending lines when in want of some inspiration:

Though much is taken, much abides; and though

We are not now that strength which in olden days

Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

The iron in those words stiffens the spine, renews the will, and gladdens the heart. 

When looking for something a little less intense and more humorous, there’s always my copy of “The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said” (Touchstone, Reprint Edition, 2003, 671 pages). Robert Byrne produced four different collections, all titled “The 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said,” and in this volume he brings all four books together. If you’re looking for wisdom from writers and philosophers like Aristotle, then a more standard compilation like “Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations” is what you want. But if you’re after some smiles, Byrne is ready to provide them.

ae shelf bestthings

Here are just a few of his selections:

Robert Orben: “Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.”

Lewis Grizzard: “I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.” 

George Orwell: “There are some things only intellectuals are crazy enough to believe.” 

Unknown: “Like all self-made men he worships his creator.” 

A small caveat: Some of the quotations are either paraphrased or merely attributed. That George Orwell remark about the intelligentsia, for example, is usually cited as “There are some ideas so absurd that only an intellectual could believe them,” and even then there is debate over whether he actually wrote or spoke those words.  

At any rate, if you’re after a bit of distraction or a quick pick-me-up, look no further. You’ll find escape and inspiration in these books and others like them.

And while you’re at it, don’t forget to have some fun with them.

(Jeff Minick reviews books and has written four of his own: two novels, “Amanda Bell” and “Dust On Their Wings,” and two works of nonfiction, “Learning As I Go” and “Movies Make the Man.” This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..)

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