Walking down the aisle, I looked at the numbers and letters above the seats. As I came to 13C, I found a young toddler staring up at me. I glanced back at the seat numbers to ensure I was at the right one. That’s when the youngster’s mom told me she had been letting him hang out in my seat while it was empty. 

For about 30 seconds, I felt annoyed. I had plans to read, work on my laptop and watch a few episodes of “Daisy Jones and the Six” but knew this probably wouldn’t be possible with a squirming 15-month old beside me who could potentially grab my book or knock over my computer.

After those initial seconds, I changed my judgment to compassion. I know how hard it is to placate a squirmy, tired little human on an airplane. In fact, the babies I once entertained are now 11 and 14 years old, and sometimes I wish I could experience those early years of motherhood once again.  

Gretchen Rubin once said, “The days are long but the years are short.” No truer words have been said about parenting babies and toddlers. When our kids are little, a 24-hour period can feel like days when caring for and entertaining children while also trying to maintain some sense of sanity. 

Once we were in the air, the mom tried to give the baby a bottle but he wasn’t having it. He began to loudly move around and cry. She looked at me apologetically. I said, “It’s OK. I think it’s stressing you out more than me.” She laughed. Then I told her that my boys were much older but that I remember being in her shoes and that most people understand. Granted, there were probably other passengers who were irritated. I’m just glad I was the one who happened to be sitting by them and not someone hateful.

Observing the mom and dad try their best to calm and entertain the baby, I began to feel my age and wisdom as a parent. Being a mom to preteens and teens brings new challenges and worries. My kids are now faced with darker and more deceitful obstacles, pressures and influences, so while the physicality of mothering has lessened, the emotional part is deepening

I remember hearing Barack Obama say that having kids is like having your heart walk around outside your body. As a young mother, I kept Rubin’s quote close to heart, but as a mom to older kids, I think more about what Obama said. 

Mother’s Day week is always hard for me. Even though I am a mom, I never think of myself on Mother’s Day. It’s always been about my mom. Before her passing, it was a day to celebrate and since then, it’s become a day to honor. 

Now my favorite Mother’s Day activities involve doing something low key with my boys like a hike or long walk and finishing the evening with good food. Last year we played wiffle ball for several hours then grilled out and watched a movie. It was perfect. 

This year my younger son has a baseball tournament over Mother’s Day weekend. I am looking forward to being at the ballfield on Sunday. Watching my kids do the things they love brings me so much joy. Plus, I really like all the other baseball moms and enjoy the thought of hanging out and celebrating together over the weekend. 

To all the young moms out there, keep going. You are doing great. Remember that while the days sometimes seem endless, the years will fly like you won’t believe. I hope I made the mom on the plane feel a little better. Eventually, after the baby had pooped, munched on pretzels, wallowed around on the floor and sobbed with fatigue, the mom got up and walked around with him. He fell asleep on her shoulder and slept for about an hour before he was up and back at it.

And to those of you who have lost a mom, I understand. Losing a mom is such a deep anguish, even the regular days are hard, much less an entire week where signs, balloons, cards and ads all highlight how wonderful it is to have a mother. 

For all the women who struggle for various reasons on Mother’s Day, let’s remember we are a sisterhood. There is most likely someone you know who has experienced or is experiencing the same hardship or struggle. Sometimes it feels good to know we’re not alone in whatever we’re battling. If you’re a mom who is feeling defeated or at your wit’s end, reach out to another mom. She’ll help you feel better. I promise. 

(Susanna Shetley is a writer, editor and digital media specialist with The Smoky Mountain News, Smoky Mountain Living and Mountain South Media. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..)