I once spun my wheels searching and seeking an experience outside of myself or something big and expansive to find happiness. This tactic sort of worked for a while, but eventually I realized that looking forward to the next vacation or celebration or milestone was preventing me from all the in-betweens, all the goodness that happens in the weeks and months and years that unfold quietly, slowly — these are the minutes and hours we need to embrace more fully.
As I grow older and hopefully wiser, I continually notice that while graduations, birthdays, championships, weddings and babies being born are absolutely occasions to celebrate and honor, the seemingly insignificant moments of the everyday matter just as much. Enjoying a cup of coffee with your partner before the day begins. Fully engaging with your child instead of halfway listening while multitasking. Calling a friend you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Taking a walk without your phone. Cooking a new recipe. Cleaning and organizing your living or working space. Sitting down together for a family meal. Listening to the birds. These are the interactions and situations that soothe our nervous system.
I know people who feel like they were failed by the medical system or that their loved ones were failed, and sometimes medical establishments do make mistakes, but the bigger picture is that people are putting too much faith in something outside of themselves. There are many daily habits and life adjustments we can make that will improve our health dramatically without any assistance from medications or doctors. Sometimes it takes a blend of both, but in many instances our action or lack thereof are causing many of our ailments.
I have dialed in what this means for me. A few non-negotiables in my life are movement, deep breathing, quiet moments, eating real food, staying hydrated, breaks or abstinence from social media, adequate sleep, minimal to no alcohol, nurturing my relationships, time spent outdoors, leaning into faith over fear and doing work that feels meaningful. None of these cost money or require outside help. They are all within my power, and when I make them the priority, life feels good — really good.
The experts say the number one indicator of life longevity is the quality of our relationships, but it’s hard to have energy and time to nurture relationships if you’re tired, unhealthy, hungover, worried about money or hate your job. While the quality of relationships may be the most important indicator, all of these strategies are important so that we can bring the best version of ourselves to our loved ones.
Very simple changes such as removing ultra-processed foods from your life, going to bed earlier, integrating non-tech hours or weaving in a daily walk will make you feel eons better. We recently had an older family member who was experiencing significant panic attacks and restless nights. After a slew of tests and worry, a very good doctor suggested he drink three times the amount of water he’d been drinking. That did the trick. He’d been severely dehydrated, and dehydration alone can wreak havoc on the human body. Another powerhouse remedy is deep breathing. The 24-hour news cycle and modern hustle culture leads to shallow breathing, and shallow breathing is terrible for us. It’s helpful and healing to intentionally breathe deeply throughout the day. A mere five-minute mediation is extraordinarily beneficial to every system in the body. Surely we can all spare five minutes.
Another habit I’ve initiated is getting outside first thing in the morning. Some days, I go for a run, but most days, I simply walk my dog or sit on the porch with coffee and listen to the birds. In the colder months, I often sit by the fire. There is something about waking up with the day that feels magical and primal. My phone and computer do not come with me during these early hours. In fact, I try not to look at my phone for at least the first hour of each day.
It pains me to see people living so unhealthfully, to see grocery store carts full of sugary soda and snacks, to hear of capable people who don’t move from their chair or the couch all day, to know that some folks take a handful of pills when maybe part of what they need is time with trees and birds and the sounds of a creek. I fully respect that many people need daily medications or treatments to live to the fullest. In fact, there have been times in my life where I’ve been deficient in iron, vitamin B12 and cortisol and have had to figure out how to get my levels adjusted. There are life-saving surgeries happening every day, but in addition to all of that, we can do our part in healing ourselves. In place of or in addition to medical assistance, why not do everything in our power to make our time on earth more joyful?
There is a quote by an unknown author that says, “Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now.” This is what I’m getting at. Let’s stop living for the big moments. Let’s live for the everyday and part of doing that is caring deeply for the vessel we are living in — the beautiful blend of our body, mind and soul.
(Susanna Shetley is a writer, editor and social media specialist. susanna.b@smokymountainnews.com.)