Search online, or in a library or bookshop, and you’ll find how-to books about parenting. Recent popular titles include “Simplicity Parenting,” “The Five Principles of Parenting” and “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.” There are even books about how not to parent, like Leonard Sax’s “The Collapse of Parenting.”
There are also books and resources for building strong families, like “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families” and “The Intentional Family.” Organizations like the Institute of Family Studies and Families of Character try to strengthen families with articles and podcasts.
Then there are those books that drop us into the middle of a family and give us a real-life version of its ups and downs, its struggles and triumphs, its comedies and tragedies.
In “We Didn’t Miss a Thing (2025, 428 pages),” writer Chris Cox opens the door to his home, his marriage and fatherhood, and takes readers on guided tour of the Cox family life. Right away, we are with him when he sees a stranger at a meeting of college employees and announces to his friend Owen, “I’m going to marry her.” We then meet this attractive woman’s toddler Kayden, whom Cox quickly dubs “The Princess.” Soon the couple add another member to this song of life, a baby they name Jack, and so become a quartet.
Weaving together columns that appeared in The Smoky Mountain News as well as other publications, Cox then puts together a tapestry of one family’s life in the 21st century: a Christmas Day when little Kayden was sick and feverish, three-year-old Jack’s infatuation with bulldozers, backhoes and big trucks, days spent at home with the kids because of a Smokies snowfall, the time his middle-school daughter feel in love with Tolkien’s “The Hobbit.” On we go through this journey as the kids grow up and Tammy and Chris meet the challenges of marriage and parenting.
To these travels through time Cox brings his trademark wry sense of humor. Here’s one example: when Kayden is about to turn 15, she keeps reminding her dad that she’ll be driving in another year, though so far she has saved only $7.56 for the purchase of a car. Cox then writes:
“Because my wife and I are awesome parents, we agreed long ago to match whatever she is able to save by her sixteenth birthday to buy a car. If this were her sixteenth birthday, we would now be scanning used car lots all over Western North Carolina and beyond for the very best car you can find for $7.56. Unless her mother takes her anywhere near a Starbucks today, that is, in which case our budget might be down to roughly the price of a gas station hot dog.”
Marriage also brings out Cox’s wit and humor. In his “Wedding Announcement” chapter, he writes that the couple were married “in an impossibly small, curiously intimate and strangely romantic setting — the magistrate’s office in the Haywood County Detention Center…” There, “the bride wore a stunning brown skirt with a subtle southwestern design and a black top the groom picked out himself for her birthday at Goody’s “Moonlight Madness” sale. As for the groom, he “wore a charcoal-colored jacket he won on eBay, with matching pants, belt, shoes and socks. Later, he would describe his ensemble as ‘unpretentious and not too shabby.’”
All of these incidents, and dozens of more, carry a lesson with them: those with an appreciation of irony, a tolerance of absurdity and the gift of laughter make for good parents and marriage partners.
Truths known to many parents, particularly dads, pop up unexpectedly here as well. When Kayden, age six, is wondering aloud whether Cox will like his Father’s Day present, clearly baffled as to why any adult would prefer clothing to a toy, Cox observes, “There is no point in trying to explain to her, or any other kid, that dad already has what he wants, which is his kids, his family.” A near-identical thought came to me this year on Father’s Day, when one of my younger grandchildren asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day.
Though much of what readers learn about parenting from “We Didn’t Miss a Thing” comes via osmosis, Cox does offer some direct advice as well. One bit of this wisdom made me laugh aloud, only because it’s so true: “Part of becoming a parent is making peace with the proposition that virtually everyone in the world except you knows best how to discipline your children.” Surely most parents have listened to a relative, a friend or even some stranger offering advice on improving a child’s manners, habits or character. They’re not always wrong, those critics, but even the intrusion can still sting. As Cox adds, “Trying to find the ‘right’ discipline for your child is like trying to tie your shoes with a strand of cooked spaghetti for a shoelace.”
Finally, besides its entertainment value, “We Didn’t Miss a Thing” is worth reading because it shows rather than tells readers what it’s like to raise kids. Veteran parents will find scenes where they identify with Cox as he and Tammy pick their way through the strange, messy land of parenthood. Those thinking about becoming parents will receive a pep talk encouraging them to take a step in that direction.
(Jeff Minick reviews books and has written four of his own: two novels, “Amanda Bell” and “Dust On Their Wings,” and two works of nonfiction, “Learning As I Go” and “Movies Make the Man.” minick0301@gmail.com.)