In our mountains, behind closed doors
Sarah Kihn, REACH of Haywood County’s Development Coordinator, and her dog Luna.
Donated photo
Every October, we see purple ribbons, social media posts and brief mentions on the news about Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For many, it comes and goes like any other month. But for survivors, advocates and loved ones, October carries the weight of remembrance, grief and determination.
How it started
Domestic Violence Awareness Month began in 1981, when the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence launched a “Day of Unity” to connect advocates across the country who were working to end violence in their communities. That single day grew into a full week of events and, by 1987, became an official month of national observance.
The color purple was chosen to symbolize courage and survival and to honor for those who have experienced abuse. Today, October serves as both a time to honor survivors and a call to action to end domestic violence once and for all.
Awareness alone is no longer enough. It must move us from sympathy to outrage and from outrage to action.
The reality behind the ribbon
Domestic violence is not a “private matter.” It’s not just a bad relationship or a couple’s fight. It’s a public health and human rights crisis that thrives in silence, and it happens here in our mountains.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in three women in the United States will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. One in three. That could be your neighbor, your coworker, your friend or even you.
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Survivors are still too often blamed, doubted or silenced. In courtrooms, those with more money or power can use the system itself to continue the abuse, leaving survivors to fight for safety while trying to rebuild their lives .
Rooted in inequality
Domestic violence doesn’t happen in isolation. It’s connected to larger systems of inequality. When society normalizes male entitlement, excuses aggression as “passion” or underfunds programs that protect survivors, we are complicit.
The National Network to End Domestic Violence reminds us that when reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ protections or affordable housing are stripped away, survivors lose vital pathways to safety. The Institute for Women’s Policy Research adds that a woman cannot safely leave abuse if she cannot afford rent, childcare or healthcare.
These are not just policy issues. For many survivors, they are matters of life and death.
What justice really means
Justice isn’t only about arresting abusers. It means believing survivors, providing safe housing and ensuring the Federal Violence Against Women Act is fully funded and enforced.
It also means understanding that violence takes many forms. Emotional manipulation, financial control, isolation and coercion can be just as devastating as physical harm. The bruises may fade, but the trauma can last a lifetime.
While women are most often victims, men and nonbinary people experience abuse as well. According to the CDC, one in four men in the United States has faced physical violence, sexual violence,or stalking by an intimate partner. For many men, the stigma of speaking out can be just as painful as the abuse itself.
And we can’t ignore how gender and race intersect. Women of color — especially Black and Indigenous women — face higher rates of homicide and greater barriers to safety, according to the Women of Color Network.
Faith and domestic violence
In some communities, religious teachings have been twisted to justify control. Passages about submission have been used to keep survivors trapped, convincing them that leaving an abuser means abandoning their faith.
But that is not what faith is meant to be. In Christianity, for example, the teachings of Jesus call to protect the vulnerable and stand against harm. True faith doesn’t demand silence; it demands justice.
More faith communities are reclaiming that message, offering safety, support and compassion for survivors. That is what faith in action looks like.
Turning awareness into action
This October, don’t let Domestic Violence Awareness Month be just another post or ribbon. Take a step.
Support the organizations doing this work. Donate to local shelters like REACH of Haywood County. Volunteer your time. Listen when someone confides that something feels wrong in their relationship.
Talk to your children about respect, consent and healthy love. Share resources. Refuse to let abuse hide in plain sight.
We deserve a world where no one has to choose between safety and survival, silence and disbelief, poverty and violence.
Awareness should lead us to empathy, to outrage and most importantly, to action.
Change is possible. Communities can become places of safety, not silence. When we believe survivors and stand with them, healing becomes the expectation, not the exception.
(Sarah Kihn is a Development Coordinator for REACH of Haywood County)
Local resources
• REACH of Haywood County
24-Hour Crisis Line: (828) 456-7898
reachofhaywood.org
• 30th Judicial District Domestic Violence
– Sexual Assault Alliance (JDA)
alliance30th.org
National Resources
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
24/7 Support: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Chat : thehotline.org
Text “START” to 88788
Free, confidential, and available in English and Spanish.
• RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
24/7 Support: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Chat: rainn.org
Free, anonymous, and confidential.
