Mistaken perceptions
Domestic violence is widely misunderstood. Most individuals who have not had the unfortunate experience of living through it often hold misconceptions that minimize its severity. This ignorance can lead to responses that are inappropriate, callous and ultimately perpetuate the problem. Misconceptions frequently involve victim-blaming or a lack of understanding about what domestic violence truly entails.
Common responses include statements such as, “If it’s that bad, he or she would just leave;” “Those situations only happen in poor communities;” “She must be asking for it” or “It’s all related to drug abuse.” Remarks like these degrade and dismiss the victim’s experience and are completely misinformed. They reinforce the shame and invalidation felt by victims while empowering abusers.
Domestic violence does not always involve physical abuse. It can also include sexual, emotional, financial and psychological coercion, all of which can be just as damaging as physical violence. Alcohol or drug use is not the cause of domestic violence — it goes much deeper. Abusers intentionally strive to maintain power and control over their victims. Coercion can take many forms, including anger, intimidation and even the appearance of kindness, generosity or concern. No matter the method, the goal is calculated control.
Domestic violence is widespread, affecting people of all ages, religions, sexual orientations and socioeconomic backgrounds. It happens every day in communities and societies around the world. Beyond its devastating personal impact, domestic violence creates a significant financial burden through the need for medical treatment, legal services, court costs, incarceration, and long-term physical and mental healthcare for victims and their children.
Approximately 73.5% of domestic abuse victims are women. While men can also experience abuse, women are overwhelmingly the primary targets. Throughout history, religion and society have often assigned women to subservient roles. This inequality has been the norm for thousands of years, and in many cultures it persists today. Even in the United States, where equality is the law, it is not always the reality. The struggle continues.
The United Nations defines gender-based violence:
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“The definition of discrimination includes gender-based violence, that is, violence that is directed against a woman because she is a woman or that affects women disproportionately. It includes acts that inflict physical, mental, or sexual harm or suffering, threats of such acts, coercion, and other deprivations of liberty.”
Domestic violence is both a global and a local issue. Increasing awareness is crucial to the health of our communities and the safety of our citizens — both now and for generations to come.
Lori Castner is a volunteer with REACH of Haywood County.