The cycle of healing: Finding wholeness after violence
Katie Miller teaching community advocates about forensic evaluations.
Donated photo
The natural world moves in cycles, each step following another, just as the seasons change or a wound slowly mends. These rhythms shape the pace of our lives: the rise and fall of the sun, the ebb and flow of rivers, the breath in and out of our lungs.
Healing is one of these cycles. Whether from a scraped knee or a broken heart, from a surgery or a loss, all life exists in a constant rhythm of injury and repair. When that rhythm is interrupted, when something breaks the natural flow, suffering deepens for both individuals and the community that surrounds them.
Sexual violence is one such disruption. It is an injury, both visible and invisible, that profoundly alters the cycle of life and healing. It is also far more common than many realize. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than one in two women and nearly one in three men in the United States experience sexual violence in their lifetimes.
The road to healing from sexual assault or domestic violence is rarely straightforward. Unlike a broken bone, there is no X-ray that shows progress or a cast that guarantees stability. It is deeply personal work, layered, uneven and unique to every survivor.
Healing may look like participating in the justice system, or it may mean walking away from it entirely. It might involve counseling, joining a survivor support group or simply telling a trusted friend, “This happened to me.” It can also look like silence, solitude or small acts of reclaiming control, such as taking a walk, seeing a doctor or asking for help.
There is no single right way to heal. But ignoring the injury or denying yourself the time and space to recover can deepen the wound, not just for one person, but for generations.
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When cycles collide
Sexual assault and domestic violence are deeply connected. Studies from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence show that up to 81% of women who experience intimate partner violence also experience sexual assault by the same partner. Among men who report being physically abused by a partner, more than half also experience sexual coercion or assault.
These forms of violence rarely exist in isolation. They often overlap with other cycles of harm, such as addiction, mental health struggles, poverty, and childhood trauma.
According to the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health (2020), people with a history of sexual violence are significantly more likely to struggle with substance misuse later in life. Another study published by Cambridge University Press found that one in three men who perpetrated child sexual abuse had themselves been sexually abused as children.
The CDC has long identified adverse childhood experiences, including exposure to domestic violence and sexual abuse, as powerful predictors of lifelong health challenges such as addiction, depression and chronic disease. Children who enter the foster care system due to family violence or neglect also face significantly higher rates of sexual abuse than those raised in stable homes, according to the Journal of Child Abuse and Neglect.
These are not separate problems. They are connected cycles of pain. And just as harm ripples outward, healing can do the same.
The choice to heal
The natural world does not stop moving, even after a disaster. Rivers find new paths. Forests regrow. Healing, too, is inevitable if we allow it.
As a nurse, I have seen healing begin in the smallest of ways: a survivor showing up for their exam, a patient taking their first full breath after telling their story aloud, a parent deciding that the violence ends with them. Healing does not mean forgetting or pretending it never happened. It means choosing to continue living, even when it hurts.
To the community, I say this: healing is collective work. When we believe survivors, when we listen without judgment, and when we make our homes and institutions safe for disclosure, we strengthen the entire fabric of our society.
To individuals walking this path, know this: you are not alone. Your story is yours to tell or keep. Your healing is yours to define. It takes courage to begin and even more to continue. There will be days of rest, days of anger, and days of peace. Each one is part of the cycle.
Healing does not happen overnight. But it does happen. With time, care, and support, the body, mind, and spirit can recover.
The most important step in any healing journey is the one that begins it. Have courage. Reach for support. Rest when you need to. And remember, you can be well again.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault or domestic violence, confidential help is available 24/7 at REACH of Haywood County: 828.456.7898.
You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become after.
(Katie Miller, a sexual assault nurse examiner, is the director of Mountain Hope Nursing Alliance. For more information, visit mountainhopenursing.org )
