As hard as it is to believe, dating abuse can also begin in these early teenage years. That’s why REACH of Haywood, through the “Safe Dates” curriculum, shares this research-based, nationally recognized dating abuse prevention program in Haywood County middle schools. It meets the N.C. School Academic Standards and REACH has been sharing it in our seventh and eighth grades for 16 years during co-ed Health/PE classes.

“Safe Dates” teaches the basics of ALL healthy relationships, including friendships and does not push early dating or teach sex ed. Research determined that ages 12-14 were when this teaching is most beneficial, before most dating begins. This is the time when young teens are starting to “spread their wings,” to visit with friends in their homes, and to notice and compare how they see other adults treat each other and their families with how they are being raised.

Some “Safe Dates” topics: what’s a healthy relationship, what’s an unhealthy relationship, how to communicate calmly, why some people are mean to their partners, how to help a friend in a complicated (abusive) relationship and how to prevent sexual assault. “Safe Dates” is interactive with read aloud scenarios, games, skits and quizzes. It keeps students interested and excited about each day’s topic. Our certified teacher also brings healthy snacks and other gifts to encourage participation and homework, thanks to grants from Haywood Health Foundation as well as private donations.

The most common parental (or grand-parental) reaction when they learn their teen will be in “Safe Dates?” “I wish I’d had ‘Safe Dates’ when I was your age.” Meaning, it might have helped many of us recognize those harmful relationship “red flags” early on, before long-term damage or violence happened. We are so lucky, as a county, that our children receive this important abuse prevention program because many larger counties, due to their size and the number of middle schools they have, can’t offer it.

Yes, remember when. Here’s to happier memories — and future adult lives — for our teens, thanks to Safe Dates.

(REACH of Haywood is a 501(c) 3 nonprofit which serves survivors of intimate partner violence, elder abuse, trafficking and teen dating abuse. Contact them at 828.456.7898 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Also visit or donate to Within Reach Resale Store in Hazelwood, 828.454.5998. Buffy Queen is a REACH of Haywood Community Educator)