Food is the ultimate tie that binds
About a month ago, my neighbor sent a text asking if I wanted some of her fresh basil which was growing in abundance. Together, we clipped a bagful of the herb, then she loaned me her “Moosewood Cookbook” so I could use the basil to follow the book’s pesto recipe. That afternoon, I made the most delicious homemade pesto pasta that even the pickiest eater in the house loved.
Since then, I’ve spent many minutes over a cup of tea perusing this cookbook, which was compiled, edited, illustrated and hand-lettered by Mollie Katzen in 1977 and is a collection of recipes from Moosewood Restaurant in Ithaca, New York. I’ve made a number of other dishes from the cookbook, but it’s probably due time I return it to my friend and perhaps obtain my own copy.
Creating and cooking a homemade meal for people I care about is one of my favorite things to do. As all moms know, it’s challenging to come up with a weekly meal plan, but I’m always honored and grateful to do it, and when we all sit down at the table to eat, it’s well-worth the effort.
I went through a number of years where I used my phone for recipes. I have a little wooden stand where I would place my phone and then scroll as I followed the steps of the recipe, but similar to most tech alternatives, I preferred the old school strategy of using a tangible recipe. I have two bookends on one of my kitchen counters with all of my favorite cookbooks. Little compares to flipping open to a recipe page that’s been used over and over, bespeckled with past splatters of tomato sauce and clumps of dried cumin.
As the holidays approach, I’m beginning to think of the dishes we’ll cook for Thanksgiving and Christmas. In 1999, my late mother gave my sister and I scrapbooks with all of our family recipes. She took stacks of handwritten, frayed pieces of paper and notecards, typed them out and put them in scrapbooks so all three of us would have a copy of my great grandmother’s dressing recipe and other dishes that have passed through the time.
On the front page, my mom included a message that reads:
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Dear Susanna,
Enclosed are family and favorite recipes. Some are handed through the family and some are your favorites I have found through the years. I wanted you to have copies so that wherever you go, you will have them with you, and you will think of our family dinners when we enjoyed them together. Maybe your family will enjoy them also.
I love you,
Mom
In 1999, we had no idea our years together were numbered and that cancer would take her life in 2016. This scrapbook is beyond special to me, something I will forever cherish. Since she gifted it to me, I’ve added other recipes until now it’s bursting with hundreds of torn magazine pages, handwritten notes, photocopies and printed recipes.
When I catch up with a friend I haven’t seen in a while, the first thing we say is, “We should do lunch,” then we meet at a restaurant and over food, reminisce, laugh and sometimes cry. I’m part of a group of girlfriends who meet once a month for lunch and if we didn’t have that standing date, we’d never find the time to stay in touch and keep up with the happenings of our families. Every time I leave those lunches, I feel full — not just in my belly but in my heart.
I can think of many more meal or food related situations or experiences in my life that offer meaning and purpose. Food is the ultimate tie that binds. It brings together neighbors, family, friends and community. Sitting around a table with those we love or even those we’ve just met is the most precious of life’s gifts. The breaking of bread together is the most ancient of traditions.
For these reasons, everyone who has been battling food insecurity, especially as of late with the government shutdown, has been heavy on my heart. Food isn’t just about quelling hunger pains — it offers comfort and safety, it’s fuel for our soul. As Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” so aptly demonstrates, the bottom of the pyramid includes food and shelter. When people are hungry, thirsty, cold or sleep-depriced, they’ll never make it to the next step which is employment, health, property and security.
When life is going smoothly, it’s easy to judge others or blame them for whatever situation they’re in, but if you know anything about socio-economic dynamics, one missed paycheck can completely derail a family. Let’s do our part to help those who are hungry and remember that it’s not simply sustaining an appetite, it’s much deeper than that. It’s a hunger to feel seen, to feel human.
And everyone, no matter the circumstance, deserves to feel human.
(Susanna Shetley is a writer and mom who lives in Haywood County. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..)
