A love letter to friends across the aisle
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Dear friend,
We are living in tumultuous times, and I’m writing to say I am sorry. I know I’ve done and said things that hurt you, that made you furrow your brow in confusion, wondering if you ever knew me at all. I know you’ve rolled your eyes at something politically-slanted I’ve posted on social media. To be honest, your words and posts have conjured the same reactions for me.
What happened to us? What happened to us coming together for the betterment of ourselves, our families and the world around us?
You are family. And that is more important than political affiliations.
You are my sports-mom friend. Our kids are teammates. We’re forever bound in that special way that comes from watching our children compete together.
You were the teacher of my children. The one who taught them to read, who held them if a friend hurt their feelings or when there was turmoil at home.
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You were my childhood playmate. We challenged each other on the monkey bars and giggled over boys. I still know the number to your old landline.
You were a college roommate, someone I looked up to for being driven and bold in her dreams. You inspired me.
You were my colleauge. We created lesson plans together, worried about our students and relied on one another to get through the day.
We all grew up differently. We continue to evolve differently, and that’s OK. How mundane the world would be if we were all the same.
My parents were public school teachers. They weren’t staunch Democrats or Republicans. My mom was a working mother. Both my parents had multiple jobs to make ends meet. They each dealt with trauma as kids and that trickled into their parenting. We didn’t have guns in our house. My mother passed away from cancer, drowning in medical bills.
I am a mother. I went through a divorce. I’m now part of a blended family. I am an independent, open-minded woman who loves the arts.
I believe that skin color is like a mask that comes with side effects. Which mask were you lucky or unlucky enough to get?
My faith is strong, but it’s not linear. It wasn’t handed to me. I fought for it. It’s a blend of spiritual practices and philosophies. I believe that God is the highest power, that the holy spirit dances with our souls and that Jesus was not only the most influential person in history but continues to be the great mediator and a model for how we should treat one another.
Am I trying to explain my core ideologies in a few paragraphs? Not necessarily, but I’m offering insight as to why I am the way I am. You have your own history and reasons why you are the way you are.
Our beliefs and opinions aren’t our identities, nor espousing them is why we’re here on earth. We are here to shine our light, to extend grace, be of service to others and come together in the name of humanity.
Exhausted from the back-and-forth and the online algorithms meant to keep us fighting, aimed to leave us in a low-frequency, agitated state?
Let’s choose differently.
Let’s go on a walk. Let’s get off the internet. Let’s share recipes. Let’s have coffee together. Let’s talk about our kids. Let’s trade books. Let’s enjoy the great outdoors. Let’s truly listen to each other. Let’s remember where we started, why we’re friends, what really matters.
The great spiritual teacher, Wayne Dyer, said, “If a thought or behavior divides us, it is not of God; if it unites us, it is of God.” In other words, we are better together.
I loved you before, I love you now, and I will love you after the political landscape stabilizes. I see you and I know you see me. Why are we letting biases suffocate our hearts? They are reactions. Ego-driven statements. Fear-based soundbites.
But love?
There is nothing greater than love.
Friend, please forgive me. I forgive you.
Always, Susanna
