Find Your Happy
Figuring out life is hard. Watching everyone around you figure it out at a faster rate is even harder. I know that everyone is on their own timeline, but it still feels like getting left behind.
I spent most of my life just looking for a way out of my small town. Whatever it took, I was getting out. I didn’t give much thought to a career, a place to live. I didn’t care what I did or where I went as long as it was out. Anything was better than being stuck in the town with bad memories and high school drama. I didn’t have a plan; I still don’t have a plan. I go where the wind takes me, but I’m hitting an age where it seems like everyone else is getting their shit together and I’m still floating in the breeze. Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling, moving and falling in love with a new place each year. But some days, I wish that when people asked the question “what do you do for work,” I didn’t still feel the need to explain my job(s) or what I plan to do long term — the answer being, I don’t know.
I adore seeing the people I love figure themselves out and land right where they are meant to be. I am so proud of them working their asses off for their goals and breaking barriers in their careers. But it leaves me questioning what I’m doing. I move yearly and I love doing it. I love that my people get to visit me, and it gives them a reason to explore a new city with me, somewhere they might not go otherwise but I still find myself wanting for more.
On the days when I feel down about feeling like I’m floating, I try to remember that I have lived in more places than most people have visited by my age. I have seen national parks and views that little me could only imagine. I have road tripped across the country multiple times and driven 14 hours just to spend a night camping in the woods, saying yes to adventures on a whim, just because I can. While I may not be on the same timeline as everyone else, I am building my own timeline. I am doing my life my way, even if other people don’t understand, and I am learning who I am and who I want to be every step of the way.
One of the other things I try to remember is that your career shouldn’t define you. What you do isn’t necessarily who you are. Yes, I work in social media, but I have also lived in several different states and even more cities. I was the first in my family to graduate college. I love art, books and puzzles. I play rugby and my brain never slows down. I am an energetic, down for anything, caring, determined, loyal person who drives five hours to help my friends move out of their apartment. I am not my career or what I do for work or where I am in my timeline. I am all of the traits I inhibit, those that came from myself and the small pieces of me I acquired from the people and places I love.
The biggest thing that I am learning every day is that even if you’re a little lost, a little floating in the breeze, you just need to find a little happiness each day. Put a little faith in knowing that at the end of the day, you put your all into what matters to you and that you are exactly where you are meant to be.